as you blow away with the breeze
by porcelian-doll
Summary: they belong to each other. / carly, sam, and freddie making choices.


"do i make you nervous?"

her question is blunt, honest. she can't remember the last time it was like this, the two of them, alone. they were never exactly star-crossed lovers. she's pretty sure the last time she saw him, she threw a lamp at his head.

for once it's not raining in seattle, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, the wind is blowing her long blond hair behind her, but she doesn't take in any of it. all she can hear is the blood rushing through her veins, her heart beating so loud she's sure he can hear it. he's always made her nervous.

"sam, i think you know the answer to that question," he mumbles quietly, trying not to look at her.

the bench they're sitting on is small, small enough that their hands are side by side and almost touching. her fingers flutter up, trying to make contact with his skin. he flinches, and puts his hand in his lap.

"i know, but i want to hear you say it," and she's stubborn as always, trying so desperately to reach out and grab something that was never hers.

instead of answering her again, and catering to her ego, he sighs loudly and faces his head up to the sky. "it's not going to be like this forever, you know."

and they're back on this subject again, the one she has made so clear she _does not want to talk about_. she no longer hears the beat of her heart, the birds, or the way the trees sound when they sway. she instead hears the wind whispering to her, singing softly of sorrowful nostalgia and regret, of a time they took for granted and has now passed them by.

"i know."

it's college time, it's leaving time; it's time to grow up and make choices.

this time, he looks at her at slowly takes her hand.

she turns her head so he doesn't see her smile.

.

it's movie night at carly's house, their tradition every saturday night for as long as they can remember. the three of them piled onto carly's couch, popcorn and fatcakes strewn all over the floor. they're watching some vapid rom-com that nobody's paying attention to. they all have their minds on different things, more serious things.

she looks to her left and sees sam and freddie cuddled up together, cute as can be, without trying to be cute about it. she thinks that it's ironic she's always the last to know _anything _that concerns their relationship, and realizes they must have made up from their fight without telling her. she feels left out, like they're some secret club she hasn't yet received an invitation to yet, and never will.

she realizes how fast time is passing them, how precious few moments they have left together.

"this is how it's supposed to be, you know? the three of us. together."

sam and freddie look up, startled, caught in the middle of their silly game with each other.

she smiles at them, knowing she'll never be in on their secret, that them leaving each other will probably tear them apart.

they murmur words of agreement, then sink back into the couch, their minds back on one another.

she wonders if she'll like it at harvard, if it'll be hard leaving spencer, if living on the other side of the country was a good choice.

she thinks about how hard her classes are going to be, wonders if she should even bother trying out for the field hockey team, hopes she likes her roommate.

she thinks about how much she's going to miss everything here; icarly, gibby, the rain of seattle.

she thinks about how ironic it is that the only boy who swore he'd always love her is now holding hands with sam.

.

this is the moment, the moment they've all been dreading since their high school graduation in june.

they're at the airport, he and carly almost ready to board the plane to boston. his next stop is mit. carly's close by, at harvard. sam, of course, is staying in seattle, going to community college and partying.

he and spencer exchange quick bro-hugs as carly and sam make their tearful goodbyes. gibby's off, in the corner somewhere, crying, saying "he can't stand the emotion." he shakes his head. that kid was always weird.

carly's now moving to hug spencer, so he makes his way over to sam, his heart pounding in his chest.

in a typical sam fashion, she punches his arm (not so softly) and says _catch ya later, nub_, like it's not a big deal at all.

"is that the goodbye you're going to give me?" he's smirking, trying to make her laugh, trying to be funny, _god damn, freddie, you should know better than to make jokes at a time like this - _

"i don't want to say goodbye to you," she says, sorrow in her tone, and he stops smirking, because he knows exactly what she's talking about.

"then don't."

he kisses her quickly, makes his way to the gate with carly, only looks back once, sam's hand raised slightly in farewell.

.

_"this is how it's supposed to be, you know? the three of us. together."_

they belong to each other.


End file.
